What does Taleas mean to you?
‘Existence precedes essence.’

The idea that Existence precedes Essence is that for human beings, there is no predefined pattern that we must fit into. We live our lives, and that in turn defines what we truly are, our own actions, not an idealized set of characteristics. This concept is the heart of Sartre’s version of Existentialism.
Weird way to start off this specific topic isn’t it? I’m not particularly keen on showing off when it comes to philosophical knowledge, but today’s question just needed a hint of that. During these whole 19 years of being alive, I’ve always found joy in accomplishments and progressing in distinct areas.

Whether it was a new set of skills, a finished project, creating, producing, ‘existing’ (wink wink), that’s when I’ve generally felt the happiest. And it makes sense considering that all of us would love to contribute and leave a mark in society, while not facing historical oblivion in the future.
Unfortunately, earlier this year the hunger and drive towards success started taking a back seat in my day to day activities. It happened so gradually, at first I didn’t even notice it. Friends gathering here, too much free time there. Slowly but surely I became the girl who wasn’t involved in any responsibilities outside of university occupations when it came to her ‘career’.

Now I’m definitely not trying to become Nicholas Sparks here and say something cheesy like ‘Taleas gave meaning and hope to my existence once again’, but something along those lines did happen. This project at first glance seemed too good to be true. A place where all your unique traits are celebrated and nobody is trying to put you in a box? Where they’re searching for your own voice, not some programmed and calculated idea of what you want to portray?

Maybe I had been slapped one too many times by this sour reality, so skepticism was lurking deep down my body. But then the interview happened, the first week of work, the first presentation. I met with the team and started engaging in my own project. Exchanging ideas and learning something new every day became part of my routine. Everything happened so quickly, yet at the right pace. Slowly all doubts and anxieties came to ease as I was facing the wonderful opportunity at hand. Adults weren’t just an older generation closed off to new ideas. Endless unimportant hours spent in the toxic environment of social media were nowhere in sight.

Staying in and working on a task at hand for hours didn’t seem like a burden anymore. And obviously, that’s not to say that everything has been rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes sleep doesn’t get the prioritization that you want to give it. Other times your brain and eyes will consume too much information while reading, processing, and programming. But you don’t grow when you’re too comfortable. And these past two weeks can definitely attest to that. It’s not just about pushing yourself in a technical manner but also emotionally and mentally. Maybe it’s just my body getting high on dopamine while experiencing the thrill of something new. But for the first time, the idea of not having control over the future and what it entails doesn’t terrify me, on the contrary.

It’s vibrant, exciting, scary, overwhelming and thinking about it fills my stomach with butterflies. This is how well-functioning individuals explain what having a crush or infatuation feels like. In that case, I guess I’m taking the first steps towards falling in love with my career and the commitment at work in general.