Everything depends on the mindset. You can choose to continuously dwell on all your obstacles without ever taking any action to change the circumstances; You can keep thinking you can never cook that perfect recipe as you those lack ingredients.

Or, you can cook healthily with whatever there’s in the fridge, and with the time you’ll make sure to have things in the fridge, trust me.

Our conversation started out with this little anecdote, and it was a rollercoaster of life lessons and experiences from there.  

In this modern society, we are constantly surrounded by the celebration of love. The media (social and mainstream) portrays an idealized and curated version of the shape and form this feeling takes. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, a love for life itself, or in today’s discussion, career.

The truth is, you never get to see what goes on behind the curtains of someone’s achievements and experiences. Whether that comes due to a lack of time for people to properly explain it, a lack of desire to show a more vulnerable side, or simply because “X celebrity followed these 10 steps to be successful, and now you can too” makes for a better headline.

Today I had the great pleasure of having a genuine and insightful conversation with one of my mentors and co-founders of Taleas.

Just to give you a little background on this exceptional woman, she is tech savvy, a human encyclopedia, and one of the healthiest people I have encountered (both mentally and physically).

We talked about opinions surrounding the subject of love for your career, in a podcast format “interview”. These were some of her answers. Hope you enjoy!

How do you choose the people you work with?

You can learn endless skills, yet nothing beats a good and grounded character.

It is truly something that follows you at whatever moment in life, whether it is job-related or not. So you try and understand people’s values, the qualities of their personality. You can learn a new programming language and other skills. You can’t learn what integrity or respect means. How do you teach that to a person?

What are the decisions you make in certain situations where temptations are involved, that shows something. Obviously, there are ways you can decipher that without giving any hints, through questions or challenges.

It is also important to look beyond what an individual currently is, and envision what they might become through help and investment. We are all growing one way or another through the people we work with or what we learn. See the potential a person has to offer and take a leap of faith.

What advice, encouragement would you give your 20-year-old self?

Well, specific things have meaning in the right time frame and within context, so some advice might not be relevant now.

Growing up with an absence of access to information, travelling, and in a difficult time period certainly didn’t help – or at least so it looked back then. Obviously, if I were 20 years old now in this generation, things could have turned out completely different, probably with a big head start and shortcuts in my career.  The way society viewed women and the youth back then wasn’t the best. Both weren’t taken quite seriously.

So if I were to say anything to my younger self it would be:

Continue looking at yourself in a serious and determined manner – it’s the first step for others to take you seriously. Don’t doubt you might come as arrogant or self-entitled because you’re thinking ahead of your age; your mind might be older.

A lot of the things that are now being celebrated, like being a “nerd” or a woman in a tech industry, weren’t really popular while I was growing up. You could be bullied or downplayed because of them; truly inconvenient.

However, I’m glad that I didn’t put any barriers on myself, or thought I deserved any less because of pre-defined “social standards”.

You can feel lost at any given time, enormous achievements can’t really prevent that.

So there are two main points I would like to focus on. The first being, people have the tendency to believe that whatever problematic thing is going on in their life, it is especially unique and not happening elsewhere. They feel unlucky and directionless for being in those circumstances.

The second one, they believe that after a certain age, they will have it all figured out.

Time, growing up, money, success, medals, they believe that all these variables will give them reasons  to stop feeling a certain way. But…

You can be accomplished in many ways, yet those feelings may never really fade away. You can feel lost in a big home with an expensive car, living that typical Hollywood “dream life”; and you can feel lost if you’re struggling to pay the bills and provide a decent meal. That’s a reality. Everyone has their reasons, and each of them can look differently depending on your situation.

You’re not the only one feeling that way and it is temporary. However, you need to actively do something in order for it to improve. Process your emotions – you can’t stop them, but do something about it.

So, how do you fall in love with your career?

The only way to fall in love with your career is to create one you love. There is, and I can’t stress this enough, not ONE defined path towards happiness or success. It looks different depending on personalities, goals, and skills – and it is certainly depending on time.

Stop creating imaginary concepts of what a career should look like depending on other people’s lives. Just like anything else in life, even for love, you must continuously work on it.

Find joy in the simple things you do. You can have the time of your life by the way you work, the community you work with and at the end of the day have a feeling of accomplishment.

And one last tip, I have found that the best way to fill that feeling of void, is to actively do gestures that help, and do good. It doesn’t cost a thing, and the impact you will be living will give you an adrenaline rush like nothing else.

We tend to identify love most often with euphoria, but that is hardly the only emotion we feel. Ecstasy, compassion, surprise, anxiety, anger, jealousy, despair:  we swing like a kite from high to low, tied to another by this passion. – by the Anatomy of Love

And truer words couldn’t be spoken. We tend to forget that nothing is as pretty as it looks on the big tv screens, even love for your career.

These are some of the answers we got on a poll on Instagram regarding this question.

Thank you guys for participating in the discussion. Out of respect, we kept them anonymous.  More of this format interaction to come. Until then, have a vibrant and lovely day!