If Zodiac Signs were Programming Languages
We know we know.. How could we, the worshippers of innovation, take precious time to learn more about something that stereotypes people based on the planetary alignment at their time of birth?
Now, we obviously don’t believe that it is real science, nor how fundamentally accurate the personality traits might be.
But it is definitely quite fun.
So we thought to give this modern obsession with astrology our own twist and parallel the attributes each sign has with those of a programming language.
(Minor disclaimer, before some of you start yelling. We have CSS in the list, even though it’s just a style sheet language.)
Enjoy reading more about yourselves, as we egocentric human beings love to do!
Aries – Java (Powerful, yet scary)
Date of Birth: March 21 -April 19
Let’s face it, even if you’re not particularly familiar with the tech world, you’ve probably heard of Java. It has been the ruling language for the last 20 years, since you “write once, run everywhere”.
However, upon first sight, most students or beginners are intimidated, as they might have problems grasping its concepts. This strong language runs fast, and it supports almost all platforms.
Aries is known for its dominant and fierce approach. Even though some people might get daunted by that nature, once you get past the tough facade, the genuineness and flexibility make it all worth it.
In addition, Java will most probably always be in the spotlight, and we all know how much this fire sign loves attention, don’t we?!
Taurus – Python (Accountable and Communicative)
Date of Birth: April 20 – May 20
Taurus, you are a readable and welcoming Python.
This is one of the most popular languages, always on the rise due to its simple demeanour, especially when it comes to teaching beginners how to code. Since Tauruses are considered to be earthly nurturers, they represent growth and development similarly to Python quite well.
Most people can agree that they have an important Taurus figure in their life. They are great communicators, strong and generous.
Python’s antagonistic quality despite being so mainstream lays in its speed. As much time as it takes the code in that language to execute, that’s how long it takes for a Taurus to sometimes see things from your perspective. Yes, they’re definitely stubborn and like things a certain way, but hey, would we be able to learn without them?
Gemini – C++ (The unpredictable nature)
Date of Birth: May 21 – June 21
The similarities don’t just end with those two pluses, accurately representing the bipolarity and multiple personalities of a Gemini.
The sign is unpredictable, infamous, and most importantly, unreadable.
Is it constantly undermining you to make you weaker, or is it teaching you about your own shortcomings to make you more powerful?
C++ in a nutshell.
The syntax is complex and the standard library is small, making C++ difficult to learn for someone with little programming experience. Anyone who has had a Gemini in their life will probably describe that experience in the same way, coding aside. With moods shifting from high to low, it’s difficult to keep track with this sign.
However, despite the bad reputation, you can’t deny how fast, smart and dynamic Geminis are. Similarly, when you need to code something that needs processing speed, then C++ is where you may want to begin.
Cancer – C (The mother of zodiac signs)
Date of Birth: June 22 – July 22
Being introduced in the late 1970s, C has made a strong contribution to the world of programming (C++ and C#), having a parental role, as you know, most Cancers do. Both old school, yet functional.
Cancers are the type of people to typically like that fundamentally conservative lifestyle, accompanied by a home-loving nature.
Crybabies seeking attention.
With the language being considered sort of dead by popular opinion, it can definitely stir sensitivity within its fans. We get it, nobody appreciates you enough anymore, but complaining about it won’t give you more attention. There lays manipulation underneath Cancers’ emotional behaviours, and we see right through it!
Leo – CSS (Pretty yet dramatic)
Date of Birth: July 23 – August 22
Visually pleasing, but way too dramatic!
I’m looking at both of you, Leos and CSS.
Besides being quite radiant, social, and most probably the life of any party, Leos put a lot of effort into their appearance.
When it comes to CSS also know as Cascading Style Sheets, it is the design language of the web, simply put, what makes pages look presentable. Similar to Leos, it helps programmers make spontaneous and consistent changes to their content. What else do they share in common?
They also both love giving that silent treatment.
When you make a change in your style sheet and want to see how it affects the browser, it won’t generate any error.
That is literally the equivalent of a Leo being mad at something you did, yet not wanting to talk about it.
Virgo – SQL (Structural and Organised)
Date of Birth: August 23 – September 22
Structured Query Language (SQL) operates with databases. It includes storing, manipulating and retrieving data stored in a relational database. SQL keeps everything precise and secure, and it also helps in maintaining the integrity of databases.
Now, if that doesn’t sound like your typical, structural and coordinated Virgo, what will? They have a reputation for neatness and processing information in order to make sense of it all.
Do they sometimes hold too much in (besides data), pressure themselves, and ultimately result in self-criticising behaviour?
The answer of a Virgo would probably be: “No, shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Also, horoscopes are useless and not based on science”. Yes, we know.
Libra – Swift (Open-source and uncertainty)
Date of Birth: September 23 – October 23
Libras seek balance and harmony, as represented by the self-explanatory scales. Sometimes viewed as people pleasers, they generally just want the support of their loved ones. Definitely a Swift, and we don’t mean Taylor.
Swift is a compiled programming language for iOS, macOS, watchOS, tvOS, and Linux applications. The creators acknowledged the fact that in order to build a defining programming language, the technology needs to be open for all. So, within its 4 years of existence, Swift acquired a large supportive community and an abundance of third-party tools.
Indecision surrounding both
Because Libras consider multiple perspectives in all pursuits, they often struggle with indecision. And the programming language can definitely relate to that.
Swift is often considered to be unstable due to the major changes that are introduced with every new release. One of the key problems articulated by many developers is the lack of backward compatibility with the older language versions.
Scorpio – PHP (So generally hated, it has become a meme now).
Date of Birth: October 24 – November 22
Put simply, they’re not everyone’s cup of tea and get a bad reputation.
Resentful, secretive, obsessive, ruthless..well the list goes on. Scorpios aren’t a sign you want to mess around with. Yet, people won’t stop talking about the common hatred towards them.
Originally not intended to be a programming language, still, PHP remains a pretty big deal. Some of the most substantial programs built on it include WordPress, Digg and Wikipedia. So yeah, they’re powerful, we’re giving them that.
But they’re both still chaotic.
PHP code (or other PHP coders) are sometimes simply too chaotic, due to the lack of programming structure. And it’s no coincidence that that’s how you feel after any interaction with Scorpios, not being able to figure out their intentions.
Does the hatred get out of control sometimes due to generalisations within communities? Definitely, but you’re all still sneaky though.
Sagittarius – C# (Games and adventures)
Date of Birth: November 23 – December 21
Adventurous, sharp (pun intended), yet sometimes a bit flakey. You could probably spot a Sagittarius quite easily, with their humour and big personality. Now, why did we pair it with the object-oriented language developed by Microsoft?
C# is highly versatile, and can be used to create a ton of projects, including but not limited to mobile apps, cloud-based services, enterprise software, and games. Lots and lots of games. That fits enormously well with the playful character of the archer, always seeking the next fun experience.
They are both outspoken and blunt.
Spotting errors in C# is easy as it is a statically typed language, where the code is checked before turning it to an application. Spotting your errors when you’re in the company of a Sagg can be just as easy. With their unapologetic approach, they will point out what you’re doing wrong without hesitation. Harshness aside, this also adds to their authentic nature.
Capricorn – Assembly Language (Strong foundations)
Date of Birth: December 22 – January 19
Wrongfully, these signs are looked upon as dull, simple workaholics, mainly seeking knowledge for success and power.
But only a handful of those statements are true.
Assembly language is the most fundamental kind of software development, where the coder has complete access to the CPU. Whether used directly or as a way to better understand computers at the hardware level, assembly language programming is a powerful skill to have. It teaches you how a computer works at a fairly low level.
Both definitely act precisely by the instructions and don’t get appreciated enough.
Capricorns are known to be disciplined and practical, which makes this duo a perfect fit. Additionally, most often people lack the complexity to look beyond that initial methodical approach from both sides.
Date of Birth: January 20 – February 18
Picture Aquarians as the aliens of the zodiac signs. They care deeply about bizarre and peculiar things, and humankind overall.
Well, don’t get it twisted. They’re controlling creatures as well, and as emotionless as they come.
Pisces – Rust (The friendly language that gets along with anyone)
Date of Birth: February 19 – March 20
The Developer Survey results for 2019 by Stack Overflow are out now and Rust has been ranked as the most loved language. Do we need to say more to support this analogy?
Pisces are very sensitive and have the ability to read others well.
From automotive garbage collection to the reusable codes via module, there are multiple reasons as to why everyone shares so much love for Rust, it ain’t that rusty after all.
One of them is how beautiful error handling is, divided into two types: unrecoverable errors and recoverable errors.
With their ability to read others, Pisces know how to handle a person’s errors quite well too. They are compassionate and one of the most forgiving signs, with sensitivity to the core of every action.